You know what’s hard? Refraining the self from gossiping, talking about others and everything else that is related to all that. Why do women even gossip, anyway? How did we even turn into these creatures? I used to be a real gossip monger. Serious. I used to know quite a lot of things about other people (and I sort of still do now because people just seem to like telling me stuff), and it was a habit of mine to convey these stories to others I knew. I just gossip by default. Sometimes  (or maybe most of the time), a significant part of my conversations would consist of “The Life of Others”. Of course, I had others who would join in the fun. Living in a small country and community, you tend to know almost everybody and anybody…well at least, know OF them.

Now that I know better, I try my best to self-monitor my mouth when I’m speaking to others. Though, I admit I am not 100% gossip free, but I am now more conscious when I do happen to talk about others. Surrounding myself with others who I could talk about things that actually do matter helps alot. Productive talking works. Staying away from other well known gossipers helps too.

So here’s my question…what do you do with your REALLY close friends who lack iman (very much), or non-muslims? I mean, I don’t want to cut them off totally from my life just because I’ve changed. The only thing I can think of is by limiting my outings with them. And of course, by improving my own iman so I can withstand any negative influences that is against what I believe in.

My latest gossip-free session challenge will be tomorrow. Pray for me!

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Astaghfiraullah…Astaghfiraullah..Astaghfiraullah.

For years I have been careless with my solat. I prayed only when I wanted something from Allah. I prayed only when I was troubled. I neglected the 2nd pillar of Islam when I was too busy hanging out with friends, watching a movie at the cinema, and dancing at clubs. Even when I recited all the surah, tasbih and doa in the solat, I never really understood what I was doing. I never made any efforts to find out the reasons and meanings of the contents of solat. I was not only careless - I was also ignorant.

Solat is the ummah’s link to Allah. When we fail to pray due to laziness and reluctance, this link is weakend. Our iman is weakend. Our defence against syaitan, iblis and our carnal desires weakens. We’d forget Allah. We’d forget Islam. We’d forget our main purpose in life, which is to serve God, and seek His mercy in this brief life and in the eternal Hereafter. I was foolish. I’ve been so foolish for way too long. Alhamdulilah I realise all this now. I realise the importance of solat and the need to perfect it. I realise how lucky I am to be a Muslim. I realise how beautiful and universal Islam is. I now realise how hypocritical I was as a Muslim back then. Alhamdulilah. I thank Allah for giving me His guidance and letting me return to the right path. Alhamdulilah…Alhamdulilah…Alhamdulilah.

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I’ve witnessed a close family relative who was once very rebellious and reckless. Born as a Muslim, brought up as a Muslim, but behaved like a so-called-”liberated”-Muslim. He’d party, he’d drink, he’d neglect his other duties as a Muslim. He wasn’t the same innocent, obedient boy his family once knew him as.

Over the years, he met a girl - his first love. They had only known each other briefly, but they thought it was love so they got engaged after only a few months of knowing each other.  She had a big influence in his life. She appeared to be a the ideal Muslimah. So she often reminded him about Islam and what’s bestowed upon us by our religion. Eventually, the family witnessed changes in this close relative of mine. He’d wake up before Subuh and  make his way to the masjid everyday. He’d spend a large sum of money on purchasing Islamic books. He’d only listen to the Islamic themed radio station (yes! we have it here~) in his car. During this time, everybody was thankful for this positive change. Unfortunately, his relationship with the girl did not last - nor did his iman.

Now, a few months after the break-up, he’s gone back to his same old ways. He’s careless with is daily prayers, and he’s also become less responsible. It’s saddening…especially for his family. Even some of the Islamic books which he’d spent so much on are still inside their plastic wrapping.

Looking back at what has happend to this close relative, I thought to myself and prayed, “Ya Allah, Kau tetapkan lah hatiku (Do not make my heart falter). Kau tetapkanlah imanku (Do not make my iman falter). Please don’t make this a mere phase for me…Aminn..” All my life, I have never been fully sincere and honest towards Allah and Islam. Things have changed, and I am now slowly embracing Islam and doing my best in becoming a true Muslimah. I want this to last. I’ll make sure this will last.

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